Dr. Gabor Maté, renowned speaker and author with expertise on topics including childhood development, explains “Children don’t get traumatized because they are hurt. They get traumatized because they’re alone with the hurt”.
Recounting a “really good work day”, one Las Cumbres Behavioral Health Therapist shares two stories:
This little boy! When I came out into the waiting room to greet him and we caught each other’s gaze it was a moment of shared excitement. This boy, Francis (name has been changed), doesn’t give smiles away too easily, so it means a lot when he does. During a behavioral health session, he directed us to make playdough pancakes which we fed to “his” babies. He discovered the puppets and found it hilarious for his puppet to eat the pancakes in our hands. I found myself thinking about how Child-Centered Play Therapy sessions stress that a child, when allowed the space and time to play, provides everything they need for self-expression. Even when this boy was formerly shut down with his use of speech, his play was detailed and expressive. He has always been telling us, “Here I Am”.
Francis’ mother tells me that her son just recently began giving himself hugs and rocking a little, using the words “in my body.” As in, he had some tasty hot chocolate and exclaimed “oooo mom, this is yummy in my body.” Or “I want to snuggle you in my body.” For a child who was formerly dissociated and shut down, whose body has experienced extreme violation and dismay, this seems like a miracle.
Today I met another client and let her “cheat” at a simple game we have been playing, a matching game of cards and animal pictures. I let her “cheat” repeatedly. I found myself thinking about what “The Rules” mean to a six-year-old and simply decided to let Graciela (whose name has been changed) win rather than teaching her how to “play right”. She told me that “she’s getting really smart because she spends all day at school.” When I stopped caring about the rules of the game, I simply observed. She thought hard and debated with herself. She strategized and she showed me how well she played. She set up the space for herself. This is what she does – she makes things beautiful. She creates space for herself by telling stories, by dressing up her dolls, by drawing. She creates a small force field around herself. She is confident.
Sometimes I look at her and my heart actually hurts. I don’t want the world to snag her the way it can so many other women on the planet. I want her to stay exactly as she is. I don’t want her to learn that her family is poor, and her house is rundown. I want her to stay as radiant as humanely possible, for as long as possible. She burns with a bright and wondrous light.
Agency Behavioral Health clinicians understand that child-centered play utilizes the natural language of the child and within a safe and consistent therapeutic environment, a child can experience full acceptance, empathy, and understanding from his or her counselor and use play and symbols to manage and process inner experiences, even the most difficult ones. Therapists trained in evidence-based interventions are an exceptional team who gives wholly to children in their care and to the parents of these children. Many clients are referred to services by Family Court or are involved with CYFD or the criminal justice system and most exhibit extremely high levels of personal and intergenerational trauma.
Our Behavioral Health team is comprised of licensed clinicians trained in evidence-based practices designed to treat child traumatic stress, through our grant-funded work as members of the National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Access this website to learn more about the NCTSN.